Thanks for this.

All of a sudden, this happens. It doesn't really have anything to do with me, apart from the responsibility I have as your sister in Christ to attempt to help you with this. I'm not supposed to know. How can I bring this up? Should I? If I do this and you get angry, you'll tell them, they'll tell her, she'll get furious. I'll be on my own. My mom will ask questions. It'll get back to everyone else. I'll alienate family members on both sides of the division. All in the name of helping you when you don't want help. Why am I agonizing over this? Because He put me in this position. Am I being tested? This sucks. I'll be losing so much if this goes horribly. I need faith. I need to focus on the intangible. I'm supposed to leave everything behind for His sake, right? But this still sucks. Why did He pick me for this? I was just starting to be happy with everything. I was feeling peace. Why did He give it to me just to take it away? I can't ask anyone about this, not really. And by asking one person, I feel like I had to give up so much of myself. Now, because of what I've shared, they know more about me than I intended to share for a good long while. Honestly, couldn't you struggle with something else? Couldn't you be someone else? Couldn't I just take the "not my problem" approach to this without feeling like a horrible representative of Christ? I'll be praying.

Show me a way out.